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Bumpy Bumper stickers..:))
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Jul 10, 2010 7:29 am
484 Views
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My kar(ma) ran over your dog(ma).
I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!!
I'm not driving fast-just flying low.
Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Life is too complicated in the morning.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Today's subliminal message is: ( )
I love animals, they taste great.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
Tastes like chicken keep on licking. Tastes like trout get the **** out!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Forget about World Peace....visualize using your turn signal.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Born free... taxed to death.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
HORN DOES NOT WORK- WATCH FOR FINGER!
Don't blame me! I didn't vote!
Mopeds are like fat women. Fun to ride but you don't want to be seen with em!
If you can read this... Your parents will be home in two minutes.
Don't drink and drive.... You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
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A Questionaire..Part-1.
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Jul 9, 2010 2:35 pm
472 Views
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Who has the most fun when you tickle a mule?
He may enjoy it but you'll get a bigger kick out of it.
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
What kind of flower do you have between your nose and your chin?
Tulips.
What's the best or fastest way to tune a banjo?
With wirecutters.
What is the best way to keep food bills down?
Use a paperweight!
What tools do you need in math class?
Multi-Pliers
What happens when the Queen burps?
She issues a royal pardon.
What did Billy say after he learned how to count money?
"It all makes cents now!"
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back to you?
A stick
What did the the tie say to the hat?
You go on a head, I'll just hang around.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny
What do you call a Penguin in the desert?
Lost
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idear
What do you call cheese that's not your cheese?
Nacho cheese!
What do you call a country, where all the cars in it are pink?
A pink carnation.
What's worse than having a worm in your apple?
Taking a bite and finding a half worm in the apple!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Elifino! (Hell if I know)
What's the difference between a a love story reader and a farmer?
One reads it and weeps, the other weeds it and reaps.
What can you find in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
What is at the end of everything?
The letter G.
What is a scarecrows favorite food?
Strawberries.
What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a ghost?
Cock-a-poodle-boo!!
What does an envelope say when you lick it?
Nothing. It just shuts up.
What happened at a fight in the candy store?
Two suckers got licked!
What happened when a fosset, egg, and a lettuce ran a race?
Well, the egg got beat, the lettuce was a head, and the fosset was still running!
What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?
You get your wife, dog, truck, and job back.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
What kinds of keys can't open a door?
A Turkey, Donkey, or a Monkey.
What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
What kind of animal cleans the sea?
A mermaid!
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Things you dont want to hear during a surgery ..:))
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Jul 8, 2010 6:47 pm
571 Views
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- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
- Hand me that... uh... whatever it's called !
- Oh no! I just lost my watch.
- "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
- Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
- There go the lights again...
- Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.
- What's this doing here?
- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
- That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
-You sure it wasn't this leg?
- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
- Are his relatives waiting outside?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
- What do you mean, "You want a divorce"!
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
- This scissor looks rusted.
- Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- Isn't this the one with the really lousy insurance?
- Now where did this spider come in from...
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To link to this blog (zahava) use [blog zahava] in your messages.
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