~~~What makes women fall in the trap of abusive relationships !?!?!?!?
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Mar 31, 2012 9:03 am
132 Views
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You'll often see many women getting stuck into abusive relationships. n often these women are the ones who are beautiful attractive and intelligent. the term abuse is mostly referred as to one of 'physical' abuse...but the most common form of abuse is emotional and psychological abuse..you'l often find women crying their heart out n still lingering on to such relationships.
Mostly women trap demselves with men who harass dem emotionaly. they gradualy tend to believe and live the life as dictated by their counterparts. They start believing that they deserve this kind of treatment. women start liking and personifyin themselves under the tag of a 'victim' and bcuz of their unconditional love for deir partners..thinkin and believin they are responsible to be the punching bag of their partners; where they just can vent out their anger and... that psuedo self satisfaction for being a 'use me' bin for their partner.
Women are often looked upon as emotional beings who look out for constant opinions n reviews abt how they are n how they look n how good they are as a partner in a relationship. LIE it is. women need nothing of that sort.!! they r full emotionaly n are there to share their fulfilment with you.
But how do you know if you are part of an abusive relationship? In your own heart and soul you always know how your partner is treating you/abusing you.. a relationship is meant to bring happiness and love.. ntn should be let to b a part of your life which brings in more negativities and emtpiness.
It doesnt mean that one should not work on their relationships...but most important is self work. there's a very thin line in between positively workin to make a relationship a success and being a victim trying to absorb every negativity; thinking it will change the course of your relationship..the thin line between living for others OR living others lives..when you start walking the other's road..leaving your own journey..thinking it would lead you to the same happy destination that you desired in the first place..
N the irony is...its not dat dese women suffer from insecurity or inferiority complex; its their partners who do!
Why do women find it so difficult to get out of an abusive relationship...?? maybe its cuz of the fear of pain of gettin out of the relationship and finding a new one...without realisin that the pain in being a part of an abusive relationship is much more torturing than the pain of letting go and freeing yourself, realising the significance of your existence, and valuing yourself. letting go kinds of gives you a feeling of a failiure..when evrytime you try to walk out..you get that inner voice screaming.."hey..maybe i should try just once more..maybe things can work out..maybe i am not trying the right way"
Women need to realise that they are very beautiful, elegant n dignified members of d species 'homo sapiens', a very proud creation of d allmighty creator..and by no means she deserves such treatment.
Men need not respect women out of obligation. women dont need that..NOT at all. they have their self respect which is independent and in NO need of constant refill from men's views n reviews about dem.
No one deserves to be a part of an abusive relationship and take the baggage of psuedo-responsibility for deir abusive partners..its nothing less than being a 'partner in crime'.
If you can not value your own self, you can not give respect or happiness to anyone else. their is no point in lookin out for a relationship if your own self-relationship i.e relationship wid your own self is weak ,incomplete n unfullfillled.
A relationship is not meant to make you complete...its meant to share your own completeness and happiness of being and accepting who you are the way you are, with the other. value and love yourself for what you are..rather than pretending n tryin to be what you are 'not' just to please d world or anyone for that matter.
The moment you fall in love wid yourself..the world will fall in love wid you.
Its not to offend the male counterpart...its not to say that relationships ae not meant to be happy divine ones..but just to say..you are as free as you let yourself to be..if women absorb a man's ego and abuse that hides their insecurities..its not their weakness..its just their mere effort of killing their own self esteem to keep the relationship of 'me and you' alive..to work on 'we' rather than keep things as 'me' and 'you'.
If you are stuck..move on..life's meant to be very beautiful and it should be. its all in your hands..the time is 'now'. Dont take the baggage of emotions you can not keep up with. make your own journey worthwhile..so that you dont have to look back with regret and utter..'what i have done to myself..and why'.
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~~Just my thoughts.....
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Mar 26, 2012 9:46 am
160 Views
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If there are people or situations that lead you to fall over the same stone i.e. they lead you to make the same mistake, which was committed earlier, again, perhaps you will have to avoid them for a few days or a time, until you have strengthened yourself and have the inner security that they will not influence you. This is not running away; it is wise knowing your weaknesses and knowing that to get into similar situations with the same people is only to repeat the same errors and to worsen your wellbeing and that of the other. Trust in yourself. You can overcome these mistakes and stop making them. It is a question of loving yourself and living. Out of love, you stop hurting yourself and hurting the other.
Crying over past mistakes, you don't mend anything. Open yourself to forgiveness. Raise the level of your thoughts so that they don't keep you in a state of sadness and loss of hope. Don't allow your inner judge to sentence (punish) you each time that you act, since that way you won't feel free. Your judge that you carry within makes your life bitter; however, it is you that gives this judge the capacity to exist. If the inner judge is in harmony with our conscience, it is good, because it wants to protect us. On creating guilt it warns us that we have broken a rule of our code of beliefs, values or behaviors. It alerts us to the fact that we are acting against something important of ourselves. At those moments it helps us to observe and question what is real, true, important and even sacred in our life and for us.
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~~~Letting go................
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Mar 26, 2012 9:34 am
124 Views
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We have to dare to be free. Why? Because fear prevents us from taking the decisions that lead us to live and feel our full freedom. We should dare to let go because dependencies trap us.
A bird that, after having flown for a long time, leans on the branch of a tree to rest. While resting, it finds the wellbeing of staying there until, little by little, it gets the idea that its life is on the branch. When a day arrives on which it asks itself why it doesn't carry on flying, it says "Oh, this branch is stuck to me and I can't fly!" The bird blames the branch.
In reality, the bird has got stuck to the branch. It has the capacity and the wings to fly but its perception is clouded. It no longer sees its purpose with clarity or its potential to reach it. The freedom of the bird is in its wings but it has got stuck onto the branch. That is the reality that it has created for itself.
The freedom of a human being is in his or her awareness. But when their awareness has got stuck onto the branch (the object of their attachment) and they begin to blame the branch for their impossibility to free themselves, then they are trapped. When our awareness is clouded and we are clinging on, we do not see with clarity and neither do we exercise our freedom and let go.
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~~Stepping in and out...
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Mar 25, 2012 3:50 am
142 Views
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For any activity, or relationship to remain peaceful and successful, we must know how far to step in and how far to step out. It is like a gardener who sows seeds at the right time, steps in to plant and water them and then steps out of the picture to allow nature to carry on with her work. However, from time to time, he steps in again to see if there is enough water, if any insects are attacking the plants, if any food is needed.
His role is to find the appropriate space for the potential beauty and uniqueness of the seeds to emerge; he does not create the flowers but facilitates their expression. The gardener does not step in too much; that would be called interference.
After planting the seeds, he does not demand an immediate result; he does not dig them up next day to see if they have sprouted. He plays his role, fulfils his duty, but lets go because he understands the blooming of the flowers is not dependent on him.
Nor does he let go too much. If he did, then the plants would die from lack of care, or the insects and weeds would destroy them. He does not let go so much that he isolates himself from the process.
Instead, by knowing when to step in and when to step out, he creates a respectful partnership or relationship with nature.
In the same way as the gardener, we have the duty, or rather the honor, of planting positive seeds of good intentions, love, respect and tolerance, at the same time allowing others and the forces of the universe to be given the space to work and respond according to their time and inclination.
Very often we plant those seeds but want an immediate result: "I have shown so much patience, but she doesn't change." or "How much longer do I have to tolerate? I feel suppressed."
We become attached to what we do, so there is no space for things to happen at their own appropriate time. Sometimes we have the wrong type of mercy, or we want to take control, thinking we know better, so we step into people's lives too much. This interference and lack of free space provokes hatred, resentment and conflict with others.
At other times, we get fed up with others; our tolerance and empathy is completely reduced and we say, "I've had enough", or "I have got to do my own thing" and so we step out, but in a selfish way, that is, we isolate ourselves from others, or situations.
We justify, or disguise, this isolation and rejection and dislike towards others with such phrases as, "I need my own space" or "Let them stand on their own feet." In actual fact, we aren’t bothered anymore; we have stepped too far out of the picture because we have not cultivated the patience which allows the good and positive to germinate and grow in its own time. It is an art to know when to step back and when to step forward, but a very necessary one if well-being is to be achieved.
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~~~From LUST to LOVE~~~
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Mar 18, 2012 1:40 pm
166 Views
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Does lust ever end up travelling the love road ? And if it ends up doing so, does it ever make up to its destination or is it always a dead end ? Does love originatin from dis lustful source has a similar shell life as other normal non nsa love stories do? Or it just fades away with time? Is the love-lust road intersection just like a bypass created by human mind,,that lasts for a few moments n den d lust-love paths r seperated out again..
How do you diffrentiate between lust and love? One deals with flesh and other with feelings ? One takes and the other gives ? One is a mean monster n d oder divine angel ? Is love a broader spectrum havin lust as its integral part?
How do you define both ? Lust and Love as individual seperate terms ? And how do you deal with lust to love conversion ? By avoiding n ignoring it..by not accepting it..or by jus going wid d flow? Is it just another emotional trap we create for ourselves..or is it as divine n celestial as 'love' is meant to be ?
And more importantly how do you identify this conversion- any signs n symptoms n associated morbidities ?
How do you prevent NSA (no strings attached) to FSA (full strings attached) conversion ? Is it actualy voluntarily avoidable? And is this conversion advisable n biologicaly plausible ?
Is NSA to FSA a possibility ?
How would you deal with an NSA to FSA thing ? Or are you mechanicaly n geneticaly wired enough (fortunately) to completely avoid that conversion for a lifetime ? How do you draw a line between lust and love n how do you come to know n deal wid..when you have crossed that line..?
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~~Power to You !
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Mar 14, 2012 9:02 am
204 Views
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Why do we end up giving so much power to certain people that there mere presence online or offline makes us feel so irritated n spoils our whole mood n day...it spoils my relationship wid myself n people i love..how can jus anyone come n turn my world upside down...how and why!? how can they hav such an affect on us..
n even when i hav d option of avoidin such people why do i intentionaly/unintentionaly end up bumping into dem..again and again and again! how can their merely bein present automaticaly trigger such a chaotic reaction in my soul subconsciously..n make d world of mine so disordered n dislike-able! 
huh! i hate you '#@%$#%$%#' n i hate myself for givin so much power to you..n dere wil b a day when my hatred wil turn into indiffrence...one fine day soon! i hope n i wish!
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~~~Virtualism Vs Reality ???
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Feb 11, 2012 6:57 am
267 Views
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How do you define reality? Is it by flesh? by vocal cords? by touch/see/hearing? Does meetin in flesh guarantee 'realism' n is a foolproof of 'no fake loopholes' ?
Isnt 'virtual' just a medium in its own self...as in what makes you label 'virtual' as 'fake' so instantaneously ? So when you are present in the 'virtual' world yourself..you first go to d closet change d wardrobe to d 'fake costume' and re-enter d virtual world? You are not present in your own real mode/one-ness when you are here?
How do you define real? Is it absolute or does it hav gradings? like startin from cam chat to phone to real meet hierarchy...and whats d guarantee that you project your 'real' self only in the 'real' world? And is there even something called 'real'? like you may project diffrent sides and expression when meetin diffrent people and even when meeting same people at difrent times. is there any 'absolute' reality?
Is there anything called 'absolute'? Isnt it dynamic with feelings, perceptions, thoughts, experiences, opinions changing and evolving every moment.
Its not abt comparing d virtual and real mediums eidr....nor talkin abt deir pros n cons n personal prefrences...But you yourself are a virtual being existin in your own created handle here...so how does virtualism become synonymous wid fake-ism/'un'reality' and why?
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Love me Not....
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Jan 25, 2012 1:29 am
290 Views
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"love me only if you can love me d way I want...jus b wid me n you'l learn soon how to please me. just follow wt i say."
love...sounds like a barter system...you end my loeliness..i'l fullfill your fantasies...you give me what i want..n i'l give you what you want...I love you cuz i need you.
as want finishes...so does d need n so does d love....n den v have d long list of refrences of what movies and songs n shakespeare had to say all d 'ideal' 'theoritical/hypothetical' stuff about "true" love of two souls bein one n all..
its d era of e-dating; e-love; e-dating, instant fulfilment of sexual n emotional desires..u hav fast love sites n social groups providing instant satiety n gratification of d holy, deep soul desires of being accepted and loved...
wanna get a pertner to love ? oh we have a variety of people at various distances from ur location..try al of dem n u may get love one fine day..
wanna hav sex w/o complications ? v hav all variety n lenghts n thickness n texture of flesh for u..hav it n relish it n forget it. no strings attached.
mayb its more for e-humans who have e-emotions...jus press delete n u r done wid it..out it goes from ur mind n memory.
its like a food w/o taste..it mite fill your appetite..bt never gratify your satiety...n all you'l b left wid is a string of relationships..wid more n more of emotional trauma n emptiness widin..a perfect recipe for an emotional disaster.
Trust..a word often used very losely..doesnt have mch of meaning till it's lost.
love n trust r inseperable...dey can never exist independently..mutualy inexclusive.
love n doubt can never walk hand in hand together.
shall i trust u cuz i hav no option ? or shall i trust you cuz i trust myself that you'l wont be breaking my trust ?
i doubt if dis hollow word even holds a meaning...do v even trust our ownselves?
trust leaves no room for doubt and uncertainities...
you broke my trust = you dint match my guidelines.
is loving someone equivalent of handing dem a catalogue of instructions and commands to follow ? call me up when I say...eat what I say...wear what I say...behave as I say..love me d way as I say...God..being a human is surely complicated...very very complicated!!!
is a relationship an obligation ? do we sign invisible contracts and agreements of not lying and cheating ever? of givin away our freedom to choose and act...of taking you and your trust as a burden on my shoulder and make sure that my every action and breath is in accordance with your wish? do i need to lose myself to gain you in my life?
is a relationship a bondage where v do things to please d oder..and avoid or more appropriately hide opinions/acts n feelings that would hurt the other. do i need to constantly prove myself in order to be worthy of your love and acceptance? y do d most beautiful, things in our life...our relationships turn out to b worst disasters ? y do v repeat d same emotional pattern again and again and again n wonderin y d exactly same result show up wid our different partners again and again and again!!!! til when ????
I read this somewhere...
man asked god- whats d difference between your love and mine?
god replied- your love is like a bird in a cage and mine is the one flying freely in the sky.
wish i was god or an inanimate soul.
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Brain vs Mind
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Jan 22, 2012 10:51 pm
339 Views
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Have you ever had a gut feeling or intution that constantly tells you something and your brains refuses to believe? When there is constant resistance..where your belief stands above the reality you see and you end up believing your own distorted (??) perceptions..Where each presents its witness n argument and you stand as a confused judge feeling sorry that both the brain and feelings presenting d argument actualy belong to you and are your own..where each is hitting on d oder...constantly and brutualy.
Have you ever had that internal dialogue...that constant chattering and blabbering..mind vs brains fights...where one uses logic as its weapon n d oder uses your feelings and you just fail to decide which is right..
I dont know but I am havin dat constant argument right now..n i fail to realise weder logic wins or your mind...is it mind over d brain or brain over d mind? and dis constant internal conversation sucks...badly...to d point that I jus could not resist from venting it out here..and more dan venting d problem is dat u lose your way on d keyboard..u fall short of words..it seems blank even though its not by any means.
There are times when you just dunno how you feel..like its a full mess..a full mess created by thoughts and feelings dat occur randomly by default in a constant running motion..and you are tryin to figure out weder its relevant/irrelevant. Where the world of language falls short to express what you exactly feel. where you end up anwering your close and dear ones as 'nothing much'..even when dere is hell of everything..where you just can not acknowledge whats going on and hence cant even express d same.
maybe d logic and feelings can not and should not coexist..you just dont know which is right...or mayb we do but we or say I jus refuse to accept..mayb d brain and heart shouldnt had been there togedr in d first place. its all 'maybe' til I get an answer! and I dont care who wins..I jus hope the argument stops..like NOW and forever..
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