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Witty answers to questions unanswered..(Mail Box item)
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Sep 2, 2010 2:44 am
714 Views
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Foolish questions and witty answers!!
• The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
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• Sometimes when I reflect back on all the cigarettes I smoked, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the cigarette & think about the workers in the cigarette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I don't smoke this cigarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it's better that I smoke this cigarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.
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• Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
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• My wife thinks "freedom of the press" means no-iron clothes.
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• When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.
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• A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his prize possession.. .even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"
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• "Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire''
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"
"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.
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• Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
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• Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal
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20 Rules to follow in office (May be a rehash but useful no doubt)
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Sep 1, 2010 12:59 am
574 Views
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20 Rules in any office
1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6.. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it...
12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13.. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
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Greatest Lessons of Life.(copy paste)
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Aug 30, 2010 4:04 am
607 Views
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Never explain yourself to any one
Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it,
And the person who dislikes you won’t believe it
*Don’t let someone become a priority in your life,
When you are just an option in their life,
Relationships work best when they are balanced
*When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices, go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams.
Choice is yours
*We make them cry who care for us.
We cry for those who never care for us
And we care for those who will never cry for us.
This the truth of life,
It’s strange but true,
Once you realize this, it’s never too late to change.
*Don’t make promise when you are in joy
Don’t reply when you are sad
Don’t take decision when are angry
Think twice……. Act wise
*Time is like a river,
You cannot touch the same water twice
Because the flow that has passed will never pass again
Enjoy every moment of life
*When you keep saying you are busy,
Then you are never free.
When you keep saying you have no time,
Then you will never have time.
When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow,
Then your tomorrow will never come.
Have a nice day
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Love and Friendship..through the Looking Glass..(a borowed item)
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Aug 20, 2010 3:53 am
514 Views
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FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
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Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
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Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
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You can only go as far as you push.
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Actions speak louder than words.
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The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
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Don't let the past hold you back; you're missing the good stuff.
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Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it.
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A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
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If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.
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When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.
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True friendship never ends.
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Friends are forever.
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Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
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Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
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What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
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NOBODY IS PERFECT UNTIL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM. (Isn't that the truth?)
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Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
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Most people walk in and out of you life. But only True friends leave footprints in your heart.
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Lovely Thoughts about the journey of Life( A copy paste)
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Aug 18, 2010 11:03 pm
581 Views
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Lovely Thoughts About Life
A short walk is so difficult,
when no one walks with you.
But a long journey is just like few steps
when you walk with someone
who loves and cares for you.
We always look and care for the person
whom we love the most.
But we fail to look back at those
who love us the most.
Death is not the greatest loss in life..
The greatest loss is when
relationships die inside us while
we are still alive...
Life is not about the people
who act true on your face..
Its about the people who
remain true behind your back..
Time decides whom you meet in life…
Your heart decides whom you want in life..
but your behavious decides
who will stay in your life...
You can win life by all means..
Yes..
If you simply avoid two things...
1. Comparing - with others
2. Expecting - from other
Life will be more beautiful!!
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Married and Blissful.. civilian ways to spar !!
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Aug 18, 2010 1:40 am
594 Views
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Here is a beautiful compendium of a wordy duel between a couple which should open our eyes before we go physical.. of the wrong type..I mean bashing up each other!!
A good and civil way to have a fight instead of physically settling the issues....
WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand; it got washed.
I wrote your name in air; it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart and I got a Heart Attack.
HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created Pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in dark, he created Light.
Then He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star, you should know what you are
And once you know what you are, mental hospital is not so far.
HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you?
WIFE:
Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage, but laughing at you.
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Can you belive..the replies are from first graders..!!!
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Aug 16, 2010 11:55 pm
792 Views
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Go On. Have a Laugh.
A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented ,each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1.
Don't change horses......... until they stop running.
2.
Strike while the............ bug is close.
3.
It's always darkest before..... Daylight Saving Time.
4.
Never underestimate the power of... termites.
5.
You can lead a horse to water but.. How?
6.
Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
7.
No news is... impossible
8.
A miss is as good as a.. Mr.
9.
You can't teach an old dog new... Math
10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
11.
Love all, trust.. Me.
12.
The pen is mightier than the
pigs..
13.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
14.
Where there's smoke there's.. pollution.
15.
Happy the bride who... gets all the presents.
16.
A penny saved is... not much.
17.
Two's company, three's.. the Musketeers.
18.
Don't put off till tomorrow what.... you put on to go to bed.
19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... You have to blow your nose.
20.
There are none so blind as... Stevie Wonder.
21.
Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
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If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
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You get out of something only what you... See in the picture on the box
24.
When the blind lead the blind ... get out of the way.
25.
A bird in the hand... is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26.
Better late than... Pregnant
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Have Patience....(An emotional cut paste you will love!!)
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Jul 31, 2010 7:26 am
705 Views
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BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man was driving tucks of others' and dreaming to one day have a truck of his own. He lived very miserly and saved every dollar till he finally could arrange the down payment and a neighborly Bank granted a loan to buy a truck which he could call his own. The next day early morning he came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. He simply froze with anger and bewilderment!Without thinking over the matter he ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When he finally calmed down, he rushed the kid to the hospital.
Although the doctors tried desperately to save the crushed bones, they finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One"
" Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away "
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Somebody Loves You..!!(A copy paste story with a history!!)
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Jul 30, 2010 1:28 pm
554 Views
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One miserable rainy night,a man named Mark decided to end his life. In his mid-fifties,Mark had never been married,had never experienced the joy of having children or spending holidays with his family. Both his parents had been dead for seven years. He had a sister but had lost contact with her. He held a menial job that left him unfulfilled. Wet and unhappy,he walked the streets,feeling as if there was nobody in the entire world that cared if he lived or died.
On that same soggy night,I was sitting in my room watching the rain hit my window. I was six years old,and my life revolved around my Star Wars action figure collection. I was dreaming of the day when I'd have earned enough money to add Darth Vader to my new collector's case. To help me make money,my Father paid me to jog with him. Everyday,at seven o'clock,we jog together. And everyday,I was fifty cents closer to getting Darth Vader.
When I heard the doorbell ring,I jumped from my chair and raced out of my room to the top of the steps. My Mother was already at the door. Opening it,she found herself face-to-face with a very disheveled-looking man with tears streaming down his face. My Mother,over come by pity,invited the man inside,and he sat with my parents in our living room.
Curious,I snuck downstairs so that I could get a better look. I couldn't understand what they were saying,but the sight of the rumpled man,holding his head in his hands and crying,made my chest ache. I raced back upstairs to my room and stuck my hand into my money jar. Pulling out the Kennedy half-dollar I had earned that day,I ran back downstairs. When I reached the door of the living room,I walked right in. The three adults looked at me in surprise as I quickly made my way over the stranger. I put the half-dollar in his hand, put my tiny arms around him and hugged him passionately and told him that I wanted him to have my coin.Then I turned back and ran as fast as I could out of the room and back up the stairs. I felt embarrassed but happy.
Downstairs,Mark sat quietly with his head bowed. Tears streamed down his face as he tightly clutched that coin. Finally looking up at my parents,he says, "It's just that I thought nobody cared. For the last twenty years,I have been so alone. That was the first hug I have gotten in,I don't know how long. It's hard to believe that somebody cares."
Mark's life changed that night. When he left our house,he was ready to live instead of die. Although my family never saw Mark again,we received letters from him every once in a while,letting us know that he was doing fine.
Being a six-year old kid,I hadn't thought about what I was doing that night. I had just reacted to the sight of someone else's pain. On our morning jogs,my Dad and I had talked about the importance of giving,but I hadn't had any idea of what it really meant. My life changed that night,too,as I witnessed the true healing power of giving. Even if it's only a gift of fifty cents.
Before Mark left,my parents asked him why he had knocked on our door. Mark said that as he'd walked the streets that rainy night,hopeless and ready to die,he had noticed a bumper sticker on a car. He'd stood in the driveway and wondered about the people who lived in the house where the car was parked. Then,in a fog of unhappiness,he had made his way to the front door. It's hard to imagine that a bumper sticker and fifty cents could change two people's lives,but somehow they did.
The bumper sticker on our car read:
SOMEBODY LOVES YOU.
As I grew up I loved a guy and was deeply immersed in his love. I was blind and deaf in love and married against the sage advices of my parents who said that the guy was simply not my class and I would soon realise my mistake. By the time I realised it was too late! Jack never liked to work and had lost all the money he had in his Bank and was soon a pauper. The money that I was earning as a part time actor in a media house was not sufficient to pull us through with all our liabilities staring me at my face. Unable to bear the frequent reminders from the lenders I decided to end my life.I left home one day without telling Jack and was about to jump down a bridge to a river flowing below at a hundred feet when suddenly a pair of hands gripped me from backwards and lo and behold I was transfixed in his vice like grip.
And the old man behind me was none other than Mark who was now a very rich man by virtue of his hard work after that fateful night when he was saved from ending his life by my small coin and a little hug. He informed me that he had been keeping a tab on my life and was following me like a tail ever since that night when I put my arms around him with a kiss of love and warmth! Now he had come as a good Samaritan to wipe out all our debts and to show us the path of love and the virtues of had work.He said even if your husband fails a thousand times he would help him come out of the bind and he was sure to bring our lives back on rails!
I was crying softly remembering the saying love never dies..it only multiplies with every passing year!!!
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BOM is missing..Any clue dear!!
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Jul 29, 2010 12:52 pm
689 Views
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Suddenly I found our dearest friend Bom is missing from the Blog spot..
Such an amiable man with a permanent ray of smile on his chubby face made us quite comfortable by his benign presence. He was the most creative guy with a mind as sharp as a razor and a voice as cool as a cucumber.
Never a man to be perturbed and never ever vituperative he used to be the most rational in this tumultuous space and was a man with a very likable countenance acceptable to one and all!He was the oasis in this desert of cacti thorns and sandy thoroughfares!!
Please ..please..Can any body find him out for making the blog space a greener pasture!
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To link to this blog (prateekmishra) use [blog prateekmishra] in your messages.
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