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Ten Thoughts to Ponder
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Jan 29, 2012 3:34 am
104 Views
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Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny . If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age-----it doesn't last that long."
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How to Detect Hidden Camera in Trial Room?
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Jan 29, 2012 3:16 am
118 Views
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In front of the trial room take your mobile and make sure that mobile can make calls........
Then enter into the trail room, take your mobile and make a call.....
If u can't make a call......!!!!
There is a hidden camera......
This is due to the interference of fiber optic cable during the signal transfer......
Pinhole Cameras in Changing Rooms of Big Bazaar, Shoppers Stop?
A few days ago, I received this text message:
Please don't use Trial room of BIG BAZAAR there are pinhole cameras to make MMS of young girls.
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HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR?
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Jan 29, 2012 3:14 am
104 Views
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When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror I.e., they can see you, but you can't see them. There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms.
It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of Mirror we are looking at?
CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST
Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror.
However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There may be someone seeing you from the other side). So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything. It is simple to do.
This is a really good thing to do. The reason there is a gap on a real mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the mirror UNDER the glass.
Whereas with a two-way mirror, the silver is on the surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel rooms.
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Always Wait Until A Person Finished Speaking
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Jan 22, 2012 4:32 pm
150 Views
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An example of why we should wait until a person finished speaking, before jumping to conclusions
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's Se--x?"
"OK," he thinks, "this day was bound to come, and I'm not going to let my little princess learn about s--ex from the streets."
So, he sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, se--xual inter--course, spe--rms and eggs. He tells her about pub--erty, men--struation, ere--ctions, and wet dreams.
Then she asks, "Daddy, what is 'A Couple'?"
And he carries on, "A couple are the two people involved in s--ex, but this can also be two males or two females which we call homo se--xual," and he goes on to describe mast--urbation, oral s--ex, group s--ex, po--rno--graphy, bondage and r--ape, pe--doph--ilia, etc...
The father finally asks, "So why did you want to know about 'a couple' and 'S--ex'?"
"Oh, mummy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."
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KINDNESS Costs GREATNESS
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Jan 8, 2012 5:14 am
366 Views
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India's Total Population 118 Crores.
Daily Death - 62389
Daily Birth - 86853
Total Blinds - 682497
If Daily Dead People Donate their Eyes,
within 11 Days all Blinds will be able to See.
Then in India there will be NO Blinds.
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Indian Brains
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Jan 7, 2012 10:01 am
353 Views
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Mathematician : How do you write 4 in between 5 ?
Chinese : Is this a joke?
Japanese : Impossible!
American : The question ' s all wrong!
British : It ' s not found on the Internet
And the Indian: F(IV)E
This is the reason Indians are everywhere in the world: in finance, business, medicine, engineering.... anything to do with using both sides of the brain.
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License for $ex
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Dec 12, 2011 4:23 pm
462 Views
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A Dog Named $ex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine $ex. Now, $ex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for $ex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had $ex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have $ex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But $ex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around $ex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having $ex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for $ex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for $ex. I said, "You don't understand. ... $ex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered $ex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have $ex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have $ex on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had $ex before I was married but $ex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night $ex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for $ex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "$ex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that $ex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."
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Superb Sentences
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Dec 11, 2011 10:01 am
440 Views
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Shakespeare....
"Never Play With The Feelings Of Others
Because You May Win The Game
But The Risk Is That You Will Surely Lose
The Person For A Life Time".
Napoleon....
"The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people,
But because of the silence of good people!"
Einstein....
"I am thankful to all those who said NO to me
It's because of them I did it myself.."
Abraham Lincoln....
"If friendship is your weakest point then you are the strongest person in the world"
Shakespeare....
"Laughing Faces Do Not Mean That There Is Absence Of Sorrow!
But It Means That They Have The Ability To Deal With It".
William Arthur....
"Opportunities Are Like Sunrises,
If You Wait Too Long You Can Miss Them".
Hitler....
"When You Are In The Light, Everything
Follows You,
But When You Enter Into The Dark, Even Your Own Shadow Doesn't Follow You."
Shakespeare....
"Coin Always Makes Sound But The Currency
Notes Are Always Silent. So When Your Value Increases
Keep Yourself Calm and Silent"
Dr Abdul Kalaam....
"It Is Very Easy To Defeat Someone, But It Is Very Hard To Win Someone"
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1981 & 2005 - Two Interesting Years
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Dec 11, 2011 9:44 am
408 Views
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Those of the younger generation may not of course remember half of the following.
Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Lesson to be learned:
The next time Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope
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True Friends: Men or Women
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Dec 5, 2011 4:52 pm
452 Views
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Women:
A wife was not at home for the whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her
girlfriend's apartment overnight. So, the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirms that.
Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's
apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartment that night and
another 5 are claiming that he is still with them.
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To link to this blog (mciafg) use [blog mciafg] in your messages.
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