|
LIFE
|
Jan 7, 2012 5:30 am
525 Views
|
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...It is about learning to dance in the rain!"
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
SOME FUNNY SNIPPETS
|
Jan 4, 2012 3:53 pm
621 Views
|
I’ll never marry in my life and I’ll give same advice to my children also.
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Helpful Policeman: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
A blonde was being admonished by the doctor: Until the penicillin cleans out your infection, you are to have no relations whatsoever!
Pausing for a moment, the blonde replied: Ok, but what about friends & neighbors?
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in.
She said: Cheque books.
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the cigarettes I smoked, i feel ashamed. Then I look into the cigarette & think about the workers in the cigrette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I dont smoke this cigarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it’s better that I smoke this cigarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony.
“I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed.
The case was closed for lack of evidence.
A French guest, staying in a hotel in New York, phoned room service for some pepper.
“Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge.
“Toilette pepper!” said the Frenchman.
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
My domestic help thinks “freedom of the press” means no-iron clothes.
When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it’s called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it’s called an election.
A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession…even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, “Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!”
A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married.
Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?
“Take a pencil and paper,” the teacher said, “and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire’”
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
“What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?”
“I’m waiting for my secretary,” he replied.
Wife’s definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.
Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting on a deck at a nudist colony.
The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”
The psychology professor replied, “Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs.”
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations–we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way to marry your daughter.
Two women were talking about their new milkman.
First: He’s very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said the other.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
CONFRONT AND SLAY YOUR DEMONS
|
Dec 31, 2011 5:43 pm
496 Views
|
This is an interesting reading that I indulged in last night from a compilation of a such writings by a highly spiritual Indian housewife; someone whose writings I have been quite a fan of. Sharing this with all of you; I know that there many friends here who will appreciate it.
I believe it is a good beginning to 2012. 
It is important to understand that the air never gets depleted from the universe no matter how much is consumed. We are floating in a pool.
Natural law is that what one may absorb, others may not be absorbing it. For example: A leaf takes green colour, the flower is not absorbing it....it is taking another colour.
If someone absorbs fear, he is making someone else fearless. That individual is creating that field and environment around by being receptive to it.....
Don’t accept fear. An environment of fear is self-created... enhancing the devil by feeling fearful of him. By being fearful, someone else is becoming fearless. This is how terrorists work!
Each one of us is capable of creating fear in someone else and fear is a state of mind reached only on its acceptance. The Supreme has made everyone a reflection of its own self.... we must be fearless and counter attack fear.
We have to be fearless, aware and conscious. This is the message.
e need to train our minds to understand the subtleties. Everything is floating in the universe. Universe balances all. Same sun rays fall on the cactus as on the flower, what they do not absorb, shows on them.
Doubts and fear come when we are fearful.
We have to confront our fears... counteract by saying: “Why should I be scared when I am truly working on my self?” People often become submissive. We need to tell ourself: “I am in surrender - if I am truthful then divine help will always be there for me.” Energy is depleted by being fearful. “I am on path of truth love, duty and light, I am not taking it (fear).”
Watch our body language change. Grace will descend..... and we shall be worthy mediums of divine grace.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
A LIFE WELL LIVED
|
Dec 24, 2011 5:26 pm
523 Views
|
I want to know, when day is done,
That life has been worth living,
That I have brought somebody joy
Through kind, unselfish giving.
I want to feel, when evening falls
and shadows quickly lengthen
That I have made somebody glad,
Some weakness I have strengthened.
I want to know that come what may
I've left some cheer and gladness;
I want to feel at close of day
I've banished someone's sadness.
I want to feel at close of day
That someone's cares were lighter
Because of kindness I have done,
May someone's life be brighter.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
THE WISE MULLAH AND THE UNHEALTHY FEMALE THOUGHTS
|
Dec 13, 2011 7:07 am
658 Views
|
An unnamed Islamic cleric based in Europe has issued a ban on women touching fruits and vegetables resembling the male sexual organ to avoid "sexual thoughts".
The Egyptian news website Bikya Masr on Wednesday quoted the cleric whose diktat featured in an article on el-Senousa, a religious publication. The cleric has said that women should not even get close to bananas or cucumbers. "If women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve," the cleric dictated.
According to the cleric, bananas and cucumbers "resemble the male penis" and therefore could arouse women or "make them think of sex." The cleric also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.
The news about this latest diktat against women went viral on the web with liberal Muslims feeling enraged and embarrassed. Repression of women in ultra-conservative Islamic societies has been an intense subject of debate throughout the world.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
40 RULES OR WOMEN
|
Dec 11, 2011 4:51 pm
683 Views
|
40 Rules Men Wished Women Knew
An e-mail sent by a dear friend -
1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your fat azz in a gym.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put the thing down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present.......again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Anyone can buy condoms.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats.
10. Sunday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not a sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is a titmouse and your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pizzing standing up is more difficult than pizzzing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, that would look good with your dress?
21. Yes, No and Mmm are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Now.
23. Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car.
26. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
29. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
30. The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all gay. Face it.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
34. Consider Sport a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
35. Women wearing Wonderbras, low-cut blouses, tight tops, no jackets, chest level logo'd t-shirts etc. etc. lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
36. When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.
37. If you want some dessert after a meal - order some. You don't have to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don't say "No, I couldn't/shouldn't/don't want any" and then eat half of mine.
38. Dieting doesn't work without exercise.
39. If you're on a diet it doesn't mean my meals should be rabbit-food nouvelle-cuisine style. A man's four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat, cold beer and more cold beer. Please ensure all meals contain a good balance of the above in good quantities - everything else falls under the category 'garnish'.
40. Do not question our sense of direction.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
DAILY NEED STORE - AN INTERESTING E-MAIL
|
Dec 7, 2011 4:59 pm
580 Views
|
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions
at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store
just across the street.
The 1st floor has wives who love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
|
SLOW DANCE
|
Dec 7, 2011 1:30 am
543 Views
|
This came to me in an e-mail; some of you may have already come across it.
This
is a poem
written by a teenager with cancer.
She wants to
see how many
people get her poem.
It is quite the poem
Please pass it
on.
This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a
New York Hospital.
It was sent
by a medical doctor -
Please make sure to read what is in the closing statement AFTER THE POEM.
Have you ever
watched
kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to
the
rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the
fading
night?
You better slow down.
Don't
dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music
won't
last.
Do you run through each day
On
the
fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear
the
reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie
in your
bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better
slow down
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is
short.
The music won't
last.
Ever told your
child,
We'll do it
tomorrow?
And in your
haste,
Not see
his
sorrow?
Ever lost
touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you
never had time
To call
and say,'Hi'
You'd
better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time
is short.
The music won't
last..
When you run
so fast to get somewhere
You
miss half the fun of getting
there.
When you worry and hurry
through your
day,
It is like an unopened
gift....
Thrown
away.
Life is not a
race.
Do take it
slower
Hear the
music
Before the song is
over.
------------
--------
PLEASE pass this on to everyone you know -
even to those you don't
know! It is the request of a special girl who will soon
leave this world
due to cancer.
This young girl has 6 months left
to live,
and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to
live their life to the fullest, since she never will..
She'll
never make it to prom, graduate from high school,
or get married and have a
family of her own.
PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
BEING WRONG
|
Dec 6, 2011 4:45 pm
533 Views
|
 One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.
- Anoymous
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (govind23456) use [blog govind23456] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
11
|
2
|
31
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
81
|
9
|
101
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
141
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
|
251
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
291
|
30
|
31
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
|
[centre]
