|
SEX SEX SEX ---------!
|
Nov 6, 2007 8:30 pm
3536 Views
|
STATUTORY WARNING
This blog has explicit content and could be harmful for adults..read at your own risk.
SEX
----Surprised an Indian woman writing this word in public and that too on IFF.? l o l. Well , dont be , since I also belong to the country which gave the Kama Sutra and of course a billion people to go with it
and no,we could not have become a billion just by watching the stars and saying ' DIVINE CONCEPTION
'!! Of course also being from the country which gave the world the 0..ZERO could very well explain the zeros in the population numbers but I would like to think it was SEX responsible for it more than anything else..For all those youngsters reading this
KAMA SUTRA which I have mentioned above refers not to a brand of condoms...But to a world bestseller (even after I dont know how many centuries) handed down to us by a sage / rishi / playboy who researched this subject thoroughly for years on end... practically and physically from all angles and then told us explicitly in a book with pictures how we can all tangle our arms and legs in 52 (correct me if I am wrong please) different positions before we can achieve the so called O mm again for the young ones, Am not referring to the Oprah Winfrey magazine O, but to an ORGASM. Hmmmm hope you have worked what an O is out practically by now. Of course if you ask me personally how many positions I have ever got into, I would never tell because you see we Indian woman.. never have sex.. we just have babies.!!! And hey all you young guys, leave the finding of the G-spot to others for now...as such ,its that mysterious planet all guys would love to find , yet always seem to get lost on the way itself. Hmm for all you young ones... the g-spot lies not behind the g-string but oh hh shucksss... forget it
go read Cosmopolitan (the magazine) or ask our very own Sir Google. ! Uffff there I go rambling again.
Well I recently read in a magazine that 1 in every 4 boys in Delhi has had sex before the age of 13.My mouth dropped open...Hey, I am an Indian,so I can make my mouth drop open... In India most women / and men have sex between the 1st and 7 th night of their wedding...depending on how knowledgeable or practiced the guys are.Women of course are all virgins..!!!! At least thats what we are all brought up to believe...
On the other hand I read reports about young couples who are hardly having sex due to their stressful and busy work lives, specially in the BPO sector where the couples only see each others faces on weekends to confirm that they are a couple still.. SEX is really not a very pleasant option for them on weekends as they need to pack in the latest movies, finish their banking chores ,watch their favorite Saas Bahu serials on TV, watch the cricket , golf , football games, go partying , meet family , go shopping etc etc.. Thats why reports of BPO office drains being choked with condoms and sexual scandals are the norm rather than the exception
!! And thats why I was clarifying to the young ones the meanings of some of the words. I guess the 13 years old Delhi boys reading this would have understood better!!
Times are a changing for sure
AT 13, in my time it was all about holding hands and kissing and maybe a bit more... but to go all the wayyyyyyyyyyyy
? Sighhhh... I wish I was a 13 year old girl living in Delhi..!!!
p.s.THIS BLOG IS AN ATTEMPT AT BEING FUNNY AND IS NOTTT IN ANY WAY TO OFFEND .. SO GET OFFENDED AT YOUR OWN HEARTS RISK..
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
|
NEVER SAY NEVER AND BYEE..!!!
|
Nov 5, 2007 10:38 pm
3235 Views
|
Well, today I am back here to publicly eat my words
In my last blog I had made one resolution. I WILL NEVER LEAVE IFF. (Eating them now! ----------- munch munch munch munch munch---------). But as someone commented. Never say never . Today I am here to say that I am no longer going to be around the chat rooms.
I have no idea which is a good site to blog on elsewhere. But once I find one will send you the entire link... I will be around in the blogs and will be commenting too so you not got rid of me completely
(Anyone can help me here?)
I wish I could say I am quitting but that sounds so final and I dont want to keep eating my words again ( they not as delicious as my butter chicken of course. !!) But I am going to try damn hardest not to be there anymore...
The reason..? Oh well
too much of a good thing has to end some day... Truthfully, I love IFF.For all the happenings and despite all the mudslinging and fights... I still enjoy being here... but I guess this season has to also end for now...
Mmmm you expecting me to write my friends list now and thank them? Naaaaaaaaa will leave that for another day, another time
But HERE ARE SOME TRUTHS I LEAVE YOU ALL WITH...
I am just a bored housewife with lots of time on her hands and thus ended up here.
I am really nothing wonderful, or sexy, smart or even ever-smiling as I have led you all to believe. It was just something I came up with and loved the response from you all that I stuck to it
I am as normal and as boring and as old as my age is. If I made you all smile. that was just a reflection of the smiles you all sent to me.Thank you each and everyone for it.
People thought I was too liberal with my hugs and kisses. But believe me when I first came on...thats what I saw happening in the lobby and thought thats the way it should be
naive me
.by the time I realized the truth about it , it had become something expected from me
and I just continued with it..Thats me
even now I am asked if something is wrong, if I dont send a hug!!
I have never intentionally tried to hurt anyone but if I have. Then I take this space to apologise for it
What is the need for me to write it here..? I could just leave silently right? Well Truthfully, I am not a very strong willed woman so I have written this more for myself than anyone else... to make me stick to my very own written words. Wish me luck.
Thanks for reaching here with me
.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
EVERSMILINGME'S RESOLUTIONS...!!!
|
Nov 4, 2007 8:04 am
3052 Views
|
Eversmilingmes resolutions...FOR NO RHYME OR REASON..
1.I will never smoke .
2.I will never ever go to visit the following places ..Timbuktoo , Venus , Mars , the Moon , Iceland.
3.I will never grow my hair to more than 20 inches.
4. I will never fall in love again.
5. I will never write a blog about why the stars and moon shine so brightly, or why the tides come and go or why i am short while others are tall.
6. I will never allow myself to lose that much weight to be called SLIM.
7. I will never patent my recipe of Butter Chicken or Chole Bhature..!
8. I will never go in for any silicone implants.
9. I will keep dreaming of writing my very own award winning novel.( the word is DREAMING!)
10. I will never leave IFF. !!!!!!!!!
Of course you all will be waiting for my resolutions to break..but hey, EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT because you see I am one smart cookie
I only made resolutions which cant be brokennn
.HE HE....Now work out why..and hey..you all can do the same..and feel great too..!!!!!.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
Thanks for the birthday wishes....
|
Nov 3, 2007 10:11 pm
2494 Views
|
I have been away for the past 10 days and so have not been able to reply to my birthday blogs..
I am thus specially writing this blog for each and everyone who has wished me in all the blogs and those who wished me in their hearts too..I am truly thankful to you all..I am blessed and honored to have you all in my life and i thank God for bringing you all here .I don't care even if its only for a season..or maybe just no reason..or maybe some grand design of which i will only learn of later..but whatever..i will always KEEP AND CHERISH memories of you all ..the sweetest ones.
love and hugss to alll...
A special thanks to Gem , Janya , Sparsh and Prag..who took the thought and effort to write the blogs for me...a special hug to you all...!!
p.s.--now that i'm back.--hope to bore you all some more..with my intellectual writings of course !!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
FOOLS..!
|
Oct 21, 2007 9:36 pm
3345 Views
|
So with lots of trepidation I am going to call all you reading this blog (and those who are not too ) as FOOLISH..Now now before you start thinking I am inviting you all to start a blog war here please desist from such flights of blogger fantasy and read on..
Hmm so if it makes you feel any better , I will include myself in the FOOLS list ok..now you ALL are foolish , I am foolish and thus we all going to end up in a fools paradise !!.Do you think it is when you do something foolish and then suddenly hit your forehead hard and go loudly
shucks , f-uck, or shit , or damn ..?--FOOLS PARADISE..?
Usualy getting caught cheating in exams ,(i mean getting caught, not the method used to cheat !..), calling your friend's sister HOT without knowing she is his sister , trying to impress girls with fast bikes , gelled looks and really low cuts jeans only to end up either in hospital or with finger marks on your face could be a few examples. DAMN DAMN DAMN !!!
Sharing your favorite chocolate with 5 friends only to end up with nothing .I guess could be termed foolishness but you can only say
.SHUCKSSSSSSSSS..!!!
Chatting with someone online for weeks only to realize that the person is of the same sex who now knows all your sexual preferences and secrets
.AWWWWW SHITTT. !!!
GETTING MARRIED
..( NEED I SAY MOREE
?) AWWW DAMN F-UCKING SHITTTTTTTTTT
..!!
Falling in love with someone who ends up ditching you
..? AWW SHUCKING FIT -!!
I will leave you all to add your comments on your own foolish moments here
and since its nearly everyday that we have such moments I am sure you would agree with me in calling everyday a fools day..soHAPPY FOOLS DAY to you allllllllll
..!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
ITS MY OPINION-------!!!
|
Oct 16, 2007 7:39 am
3583 Views
|
Hmm so now me feeling that I am right about everything maybe just pure luck or pure talent, I am not sure...but thats just an opinion I have
Of course I have an opinion about everything
be it about the past , the present or the future. I have an opinion about everyone I meet and even those I havent met. In fact there is rarely anything about which I would NOT HAVE AN OPINION
Of course its a completely different thing that I have opinions depending on my moods or my prejudices or biases and very rarely on the fact that I have complete information about the subject at hand.!!
I can argue about both sides of any subject depending whom Im arguing with and of course which side of the bed I got out of
Now if on any early morning I was woken up by a barking dog , believe me I could argue the pants off the other person for putting all dogs to sleep
and if I went to my cousins and MOTI the spaniel jumped and licked and showed me how much he adored having me there , I could argue the same persons shirt off too ,to see all homes should adopt dogs as pets
Thats how opinionated I am !!
Here are a few opinions I have
Now please dont fight with me over them ok
because as I said most of them are based not on facts or information but just that I got out of from the right side of my bed today .Hmm tomorrow if I get up from the left side you might see a different list
.!
We need more women leaders
because we woman is smarterrrr than men..!!
Air tickets to USA should be slashed by half because me going to be traveling there in the future...
The words such as didi, behen, jiju, aunty, uncle, saala, bhai and any other word to do with familial relationships should be banned from the chat rooms...
The Indian cricket team should be made to sit at their respective homes
.and Dhoni should be sent to my home for a break. Till I say soooo!
The word DIET should be deleted from all dictionaries and only FAT should be now considered the new BEAUTIFUL!
OK OK I could go on but will stop for today.
OOPPS let me clear one thing though. I would love for you all to give your opinions of course but heyyy only if they agree with mine..!!
HAPPY OPINIONATING.!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
HEY ALL IFFIANS --------------
|
Oct 15, 2007 12:54 am
4163 Views
|
Hey all IFFIANS,
I have a great suggestion (IACTUALLY HAVE LOTS OF GREAT SUGGESTIONS BUT ALAS NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN SO I KEEP THEM LOCKED AWAY IN MY HEART ..NO BRAIN FOR SOME DAY WHEN I CAN PATENT THEM AND BECOME A BILLIONAIRE!!) Maybe we should all take a break from IFF
I am feeling as if I am watching another Ekta Kapoor serial...OH boy what a family we have here. And no , dont say we dont because only in a family do we get to see such fights , such abuses , such twists and turns , such plotting and planning ..Some crying, some ranting and raving. And poor me , trying to get some laughter in but am failing miserably
..I mean why would anyone want to look at my light hearted blogs when the other characters are taking up so much to viewers time..Aww poor poor me
.This serial sure needs a season break...like the serial FRIENDS...gosh it ran on for 9 seasons
and only because it kept taking breaks
,otherwise it would really not have been such a friendly serial for sure
would have turned out to be something akin to this IFF serial taking place
Oh well on a serious note I would love to remind everyone that---- heyyyyyyy we are all adults
we are all here to enjoy ourselves , some are also here to maybe find a life partner , a friend and yes of course activity partners ..And the activity need not necessarily mean s-ex... He He ,it cud just be to find someone to play a game of tic-tac-toe, or word spell or i- sketch online, when you are bored from your gossip sessions about IFF...heyyy they are also activities.!!!
On an even moreee serious note
,please, all those who want to blog...please do tell what you ate for breakfast , lunch and dinner, please do tell what you do with your pets , please do tell what your neighbors are upto , please do write of what you think about the happenings in your country , town or neighborhood , please do rant and rave about the plumber , electrician and carpenter , please do tell us whom you would love to and not love to romance or marry , please do tell about your wonderful vacation with pictures if possible , please do tell about your boss and colleagues , your step mothers and step daughters. please, please, please, anything BUTT try to point fingers,judge , condemn or malign others who are here.
AND ON THE MOST SERIOUSEST NOTE OF ALL
we really dont have so long to live you know, if pesticides dont kill us , then smoking and alcohol will , if diabetes does not kill us then stress and heart attacks surely will , and if nothing else there is always AIDS
And since I am hoping to meet you all in heaven ..please please let us all get together and try to be nicey nicey to each other...? PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE.
Let bygones be bygones...!!
Hmmm
was IT a rant..? ok if it was. then RANT OFF...
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
|
CHEQUE WRITING DAY-----------
|
Oct 10, 2007 5:35 am
3561 Views
|
O.k. with lots of bills pending I plan to write out all cheques today...
Clear the dining table of all clutter to write out cheques.
See the table cloth is dirty...
Get another one and change it.
Put the table cloth in washing machine
see laundry yet to be done.
Fill w/ machine load with clothes.
Add last of detergent...
Start a shopping list...
Put milk to boil on gas.
Check all kitchen,drawers, fridge and kitchen cupboard...
Add more items to shopping list.
Trip over a heel while leaving kitchen...
Pick up heels and take to shoe closet.
Shoe closet needs cleaning...
Arrange all heels according to color.
No height,
No color.
Toilet time...
See the nail color on the bathroom top.
See nails need coloring. Sit and color...add second coat.
Stand under the fan waving hands furiously for them to dry.
Oh gosh , telephone.
Trying to talk and keep nail color from smudging.
Burning smell from kitchen.
Run and with a cloth quickly remove the milk utensil.
Utensil charred beyond salvaging.
Nail color smudged.
Friend angry for cutting her off in the middle.
Doorbell rings
Mail man.
Shucks more bills
Go to make tea...
Think of an exotic dish to cook for dinner...
Take cup of tea to computer
Go online to find recipe.
But first check mail,
Chat on IFF for a while with friends/enemies in disguise.
Find recipe.
Try to print recipe. No ink,in printer.
Look for a piece of paper.
Write recipe down manually.
Spill tea over the recipe
Clean tabletop .
Again look for paper
Write recipe again.
Look for nail remover.
See the dressing table is a jumbled mess of lipsticks and brushes and nail colors and pins etc etc
Set the dressing table right.
Remove nail color. Repeat nail color application.
Switch on TV and watch 'Desperate Housewifes ' while waiting for nails to dry.
See an India Today magazine lying on the side...
Flip through it casually.
Hmm lucky Aishwarya for catching Aby Baby.
Feel jealous..
Read more.
Feel chill...
Get a blanket.
Nap.
For 2 hours.
Wake up.
Its dinner time.
Order out from Spice Route.
Chicken tikka and seekh kabab. And biryani.
Set table.
Eat
Clear the dinner table again.
Notice its too late to write cheques anymore.
Remark loudly
it sure takes long to pay bills.
Go to bed.
p.s. For all those curious and jealous minds..
Mm the idea of this blog has been copied.
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
|
HOME RULESS........
|
Oct 8, 2007 11:47 pm
3219 Views
|
Ok so to feel like an efficient , disciplined and good mother, I had made some rules for my house and kids. Nothing special. Just normal ones. Switch off lights and fans when leaving a room
Dry towels after bath in the balcony and nottttt on the bed. Dont leave money lying around for the maid to get tempted... (Hmm do you think if Adam had not shown the apple to Eden. she would have still got tempted.?)Give your clothes for ironing a day before you want to wear them and not 5 minutes before you want to wear onlyyyyyyyy that particular shirt or pant. Drink water / juice in glasses and not direct from the bottles. Biscuits and chocolate wrappers to be thrown in the dustbin and not treat the house as the dustbin...etc etc etc...
Of course if I were to get 10/10 for making such rules, I get 0/10 for being unable to enforce them...!
And as the kids grew up , I being the smart mother realized that how much ever I wanted to bash the kids for not following the rules, I could not or would not ..Seeing that both boys in the process of getting themselves bodies looking a cross between Hrithik Roshan and Arnold Whatsoneggar...I kept my distance , smiling from outside , seething from inside and imagining my boys ..Strong from outside but darling mushy boys from inside
.mommas boyssss... All I end up doing is following the rules for them and all the time muttering under my breath...
Hmm but I am rambling...
Now there is a rule regarding the washing. Since yours truly is in charge of the put-the-clothes-in -washing machine job, pockets must be emptied and any non washable stuff should be removed before aiming and not finding the opening of the laundry basket...Anything found will become the property of the washerwoman..(Yours truly !).
By now I am a woman with lots of property to her name. Which includes chocolate, chewing gum and toffee wrappers (empty of course), junk food bills...showing how hungry my kids remain even after all that butter chicken I feed them , shopping bills which tells me they not following another rule. Save---not spend! Elastic bands (for when my niece was with me) lip gloss (enough to last me a lifetime. with all different flavors too), ID cards, coins, and sometimes money... I usually throw away most stuff except the money. Its surprising how much I can gather during the course of washing and cleaning...Well, not enough to buy myself that top in the shop window I saw for sure, but hmm, may be a kit kat for sure. Do you think that is tip enough for this washerwomans hard labor ?
p.s. I seem to be cursed by the washerwomans luck. How much ever I try , some how and somewhere a piece of paper or tissue or a red /yellow/green sock gets into the washing load of whites and I am left with a machine full of clothes covered with either paper lint on them or all the clothes get a pink , green or yellow color on them..Hmm I almost think its someone on IFF CURSING ME...
Don't ask what happens when my kids look at what i have done to their Arsenal or MAN U SHIRTS after such a wash.. he he sweet revenge i guess..!!
Sighhh...never could make everyone happy..!!
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
|
RANT ONNN !
|
Oct 7, 2007 9:59 pm
3129 Views
|
Rant on !
Now everyone who knows me , knows what a sweet , innocent and smart person I am , not to mention the word in my handle..SMILING.And I dont think I am anti-anyone,be it regarding color, caste or creed..( ok that was the I- am -good line..)
But there is a group of people I have issues with
No NoOO-- before you all think I getting into the blog war of IFF and ready with your barbed comments, please hold your horses
-or thoughts. FIRST READ ONNN !
hmmmm ..thank you.
I have read that now a days you can get yourself into the do-not-call list but I am still to work out how to do that..so till then I will keep having issues with people who love to call me up when Im the bathroom,having a face pack on , in the middle of cooking my chole or butter chicken , wiping tears in the middle of my Shah Rukh khan movie or just about winning an argument with my son and say, " good morning madam , I am calling from Vysya bank and would like to offer you a free credit card . Now me being brought up to be NICE , it really did not feel good to bang the phone down on the caller , knowing that he / she must be feeling bad also makes me feel worse. But thats what I have been having to do.Of course I once did accept the offer but on one condition..that all my credit card bills be paid by them because they offering the card free..!!!! a FAINT CLICK AND NO MORE CALLS FOR A FEW DAYS..!
Of course I also have issues with people who come knocking on my door when I am in the middle of doing the same such things as mentioned above and maybe a few unmentioned things too ! Its awful to have to scramble into first having to look presentable wondering who it might be , only to open the damn door to find a sad looking face offering to sell me a damn vacuum cleaner with a free alarm clock thrown in..!!.You get the drift right
? And of course as I said being raised up to be nice , I have still to learn how to bang the door in the face so to say.If only murder was a forgivable / non criminal deed i am sure I would be amongst the TOP TEN(why does a poll only include the top ten, I wonder , what sin has the eleventh person committed to be excluded? ) MURDERESSES from IFF !!!
And I fail to understand why the hell people complain about JUNK MAIL. Hey, send me all the mail you want, coz it really does not take many seconds to send them all to the trash can which is quite large too.( but oh boy, those phoenix university people are a stubborn lot.! well..they send , I trash..lets see who wins..!) Its always more difficult to deal with real people. So if you know how to deal with them do give your valuable comments..otherwise I am satisfied with just seeing smileys too..!
Oh well..i think I have ranted enough for today
till the next time
Rant off..!
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (eversmilingme) use [blog eversmilingme] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
31
|
41
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
Recent Visitors
| maria26 | 49 | F | 4/19 |
| ruthlessttc | 32 | M | 3/21 |
| jeekran | 30 | M | 3/20 |
| Nemeziz2 | 51 | M | 11/21 |
| nj24 | 29 | M | 8/8 |
| da_invincible | 45 | M | 6/16 |
| xlnc_ | 32 | M | 6/16 |
| eversmiling_me | 48 | F | 6/15 |
|
