|
Murphy's Laws on \bsexo?\b
|
Feb 11, 2007 12:08 am
1388 Views
|
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. \bsexo?\b has no calories.
5. \bsexo?\b takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for \bsexo?\b but more \bsexo?\b.
7. \bsexo?\b appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No \bsexo?\b with anyone in the same office.
9. \bsexo?\b is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. \bsexo?\b is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. \bsexo?\b is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. \bsexo?\b discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than \bsexo?\b, and some things worse than \bsexo?\b. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, \bsexo?\b is a matter of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. \bsexo?\b is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. \bsexo?\b is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. "This won't hurt, I promise."
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
Though I am Sardar...
|
Feb 1, 2007 7:57 am
1930 Views
|
Sardar is relaxing
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.
A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing"
Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"
Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered " No No Me ! Banta Singh"
Third one came and asked the same question, Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach.
He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?". The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing.
The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, they are all searching for you and you are sitting here.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
Human relationship (This is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
|
Jan 31, 2007 2:14 am
1576 Views
|
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead
child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?
scroll down to read....
ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior.
The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles beginswith a single step.
" Take off all your envies, jealousies,unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.
Moral OF THE STORY
This story is really worth reading. ..... Sometimes we spend time in
asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
How man was made???????
|
Jan 18, 2007 9:49 pm
1396 Views
|
God created the donkey and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered: "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.
..........................................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God created the dog and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. "
The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years." God granted his wish.
..........................................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God created the monkey and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. "
The monkey answered:
"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
............................................ .............................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally God created man .. and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only
20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish
..........................................................................................
And since then, man lives
20 years as a man ,
marries and spends
30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,
so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
That's Life.
Is'nt it ??????? Give a thought..!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
HYDERABAD I AM COMING!!
|
Jan 13, 2007 8:05 am
1337 Views
|
I am coming again......
Gals....Wine Dine. all fine 
buy your tickets now 
Contact me throught IFF mails 
HYDERABAD ROCKS BETWEEN 16 to 18 of January.  :
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
HYDERABAD!!
|
Jan 10, 2007 10:57 pm
1343 Views
|
I am coming again......
Gals....Wine Dine. all fine
buy your tickets now 
Contact me throught IFF mails
HYDERABAD ROCKS BETWEEN 16 to 18 of January.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes!!!!
|
Dec 25, 2006 9:34 pm
1818 Views
|
English: He's cleaning his automobile.
Chinese:Wa Shing Ka
English: This is a tow away zone.
Chinese No Pah King
English: Is there a fugitive there?
Chinese Hu Yu Hai DIng?
English: Small horse
Chinese Tai Ni Po Ni
English: Your price is too high
Chinese No Bai Nut Ding
English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese Wai Yu So Tan?
English: I bumped into a coffee table
Chinese Ai Bang Mai Ni
English: It's very dark in here
Chinese Wai So Dim?
English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese:Hao Long Wei Ting?
English: I thought you were on a diet
Chinese Wai Yu Mun Ching?
English: They have arrived
Chinese Hai Dey Kum
English: Your body odour is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Poo
English: You know lyrics to the Macarena
Chinese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
English: I got this for free.
Chinese Ai No Pei
English: Stay out of sight
Chinese Lei Lo
English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink?
Chinese Hu Flung Dung.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
LET ME BE THE FIRST ONE .......
|
Dec 18, 2006 9:45 pm
1455 Views
|
Where did the year go? Suddenly it is December......again - and we realize that with giant strides we started in January and within a blink of an eye, 2006 is on its back!
A big "Thank You" to each and everyone of you, for the huge impact you had on my life this year. Especially for all the support I received.......without you, I'm sure that 2006
would have been extremely boring.
From my side I wish you all a magical Festive Season filled with Loving Wishes and Beautiful Thoughts.
May 2007 mark the beginning of a Tidal Wave of Love, happiness and Bright Futures.
And to those who need someone special, may you find that
true love
To those who need money, may your finances overflow
To those who need caring, may you find a good heart
To those who need friends, may you meet lovely people
To those who need life, may you find GOD
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year !!!
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
MAY GOD BLAST YOU !!!!!!!!!
|
Dec 18, 2006 7:14 pm
1210 Views
|
A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual
date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing...____________ _________ _________
Deer sur,
If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, \bass\b I am not a good englis speaker.This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school
more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded , I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk
rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun.\bass\b a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life. I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint first. I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your esponsement. May God blast you!"
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
To link to this blog (bjcilu) use [blog bjcilu] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
241
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
