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HIII........Try Dis....And Frustrate The Smart people...
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May 4, 2009 9:16 pm
2849 Views
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Hi, try this  -
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately... OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
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First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for th! e first question, OK ?
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now ! add another 1000 . Now add 30 ..
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?
Scroll down for the answer.....
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Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
......Maybe.
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Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
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Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is
done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
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He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!
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FRUSTRATE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WITH THIS HA HA...
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7
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understanding men...uffffffffffffffff!!!!
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May 2, 2009 9:56 pm
2746 Views
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"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a
real babe."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but
will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more
outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
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5
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HAPPY COUPLE
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May 2, 2009 9:40 pm
2624 Views
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Once upon a time a couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret.
Editor: "Sir. It's unbelievable. How did you make this possible?" Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had our honeymoon after marriage. we selected the horse riding, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?".
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!".
Husband: "That's it. I understood her, I accepted her as it is, and hence we are happy ever after. "
One of the Secrets to become Happy is:
"ACCEPT THE PERSON AS IT IS"
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5
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If you dnt hve and girl friend....
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Apr 28, 2009 8:55 pm
3028 Views
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Reasons why LIFE without a Girl Friend is cool
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1. You can stare at any Girl.......
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2. You don't have to spend money on her.
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3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.
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4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
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5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.
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6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
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7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.
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8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.
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9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.
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10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.
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11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.
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12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.
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13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.
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14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.
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15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.
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16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend with ur folks.
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17. No nonstop nonsense.
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18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
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19. No tension.
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20. You can be "urself"
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21. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.....
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But I Bet .....With out a girlfriend your life will be so boring...
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11
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Mankind....
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Apr 28, 2009 8:29 pm
2318 Views
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A person asked God; What surprises you most about mankind?
God replied, They loose their health to make money and then loose their money to restore their health. By thinking anxiously about future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor for the future. They live as if they will never die & die as if they never lived!
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4
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Real advertisements.....
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Apr 25, 2009 11:59 pm
1580 Views
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Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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4
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Going Nuts,
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Apr 24, 2009 8:26 am
1465 Views
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A doctor at an insane asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be
going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" And the inmates complied by standing up. After
the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!" And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, "Everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!"
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2
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Impress Me,,,!!
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Apr 24, 2009 3:40 am
2086 Views
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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
1. Compliment her, 2. cuddle her, 3. kiss her, 4. caress her, 5. love her, 6. stroke her, 7. tease her, 8. Comfort her, 9. protect her, 10. hug her, 11. hold her, 12. spend money on her, 13. wine & dine her, 14. buy things for her, 15. listen to her, 16. care for her, 17. stand by her, 18. support her, 19. go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: 1.Show up naked. a). Bring beer.
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9
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Overly Suspicious Women....
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Apr 22, 2009 9:49 pm
2264 Views
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Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
"You're running around with other women," she charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth."
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs!"
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10
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Check your kids hair bands..
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Apr 21, 2009 9:27 pm
1475 Views
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Be cautious of hair bands at open markets around the city they are probably from China since they are purchased in bulk very very cheap !!!!
Take a good look before buying hair bands in future .
These Hair bands were made from used condoms and threads.
BEIJING (AFP) - Used condoms are being recycled into hair bands in southern China threatening to spread sexually-transmittable diseases they were originally meant to prevent, state media reported Tuesday
In the latest example of potentially harmful Chinese-made products, rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdong province, China Daily newspaper said.
'These cheap and colorful rubber bands and hair ties sell well ..... threatening the health of local people,' it said.. Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said.
'People could be infected with AIDS, (genital) warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while waving their hair into plaits or buns,' the paper quoted a local dermatologist who gave only his surname, Dong, as saying. A bag of ten of the recycled bands sells for just Rs.5, much cheaper than others on the market, accounting for their popularity, the paper said.
A government official was quoted as saying recycling condoms was illegal. China 's manufacturing industry has been repeatedly tarnished this year by a string of scandals involving shoddy or dangerous goods made for both domestic and foreign markets.
In response, it launched a public relations blitz this summer aimed at playing up efforts to strengthen monitoring systems..
Check your kids hair bands and make sure they do not put them in their mouth while trying to plait or tie their hair ..
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