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Aakash dhis ieesh what eesh known called as deshtiny
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Jun 8, 2010 3:39 am
525 Views
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Friends once again I am stranded in a city in Tamil Nadu. Canceled flight. Lot of time on hand. Was watching the video of my life wondering what I am doing in this city and for what ? I realised that I always wanted to be a Doctor , a surgeon but a small incident turned my destiny. Let me share the twists and turns.
The year was 1963. Dad was transferred to Aurangabad as the Regional Chief of his Department. At par with other Chiefs like Commissioner, DIG , etc. A Hugh bungalow,6-7 servants, the Nizam Aaddab culture.
Accordingly the family of 5 shifted to Aurangabad. I was admitted to eight standard. The education system in Maharashtra then had two streams- HSC ( 10th Metric) and HSSC ( 11th Metric). Our school followed HSSC stream. New city , smaller than the previous Nagpur , new school new friends, new girls , hmmmm life was interesting.
In the eight standard new subjects like Biology and Zoology were in the curriculum. In the Zoology book, the full page diagram of the internal organs of a frog fascinated me. I don't exactly remember who told me but I understood that the way to anesthesize a frog was to take a pot full of water, pour a lot of dry tobacco in it, introduce the frog and close the lid. Within a few minutes the Frog was asleep but alive. So a card board was arranged and first anaethesised Frog fresh from the river near our house was tied and surgery was done. Nearly a blood less surgery. It was amazing to watch the internals of the frog, the beating heart. Gradually the art was mastered and the patient would often be alive for almost 10 hours. Couldn't stitch up though.
This soon became a hobby and in the friend circle as well as Dad's social circle I became famous. The skill of Frog surgery by a eighth standard guy was appreciated by one and all. I was thus destined to become a surgeon.
Coming back to education system then, for HSSC stream ,right in the Nineth standard we had to choose between Mathematics and Biology. So you completed Matriculation with either Biology or Mathematics and proceeded for further education either in Medicines or Engineering .
Taking you back to that era, there were no rickshaws , we had Tongas ( Horse driven buggy ?). The family Doctors were consulted and it was very common that the Doctor sent his Monthly bill for payments depending on the services and medicines dispensed by him. One Sunday morning a tonga stopped in front of our gate and our family doctor Dr D alighted. Said just was attending a call and on the way back dropped in to meet us. Good. Mom prepared some Poha and offered tea. Same time my kid sister coughed a little. Doctor called her over, AAAAAAA , with spoon pressing the tongue he peeped in with his torch and asked Dad to send servant to collect some medicines from his dispensary. So far so good.
Before the finals of 8th standard, the school distributed forms to declare which subject the student chose between Bio and Maths. The form had to be signed by the Parents. Aakash enthusiastically ticked against Biology. That evening wanted to take Dad's Dhobi mark ( initials) on the form. Unfortunately the same day the Doctor's bill for the month was received and my Mom was boiling mad. Dr D had not just billed for the medicine given on that Sunday but had claimed his Visit Fees. Wasn't it unethical ? You come on a social visit, casually see a kid and then charge for the visit ? Too much.
Evening time Dad came home and Mom narrated the whole thing to him quite dramatically so much so that his temper was also rising. The dinner that night was quite and the simmering was felt. I like a bloody fool, placed the form in front of him and was awaiting his signature.
All of a sudden a strong slap landed on my little cheeks. " Who ticked for Biology. Bloody fool, you want to be a Doctor like that shameless Dr D ? Nothing doing. " In a fit of anger, he changed the choice to Maths. Rest is all history. Given no choice Pappu saalla Engineer ban gaya, MBA kiya and now runs engineering business. Any regrets?
Still many a times I reflect back on the past and often feel that I should have been a surgeon. Choice would have been obviously Cardio Thoracic one. Today I have to be content with my Free Social Hobby - The Mammography 
Aakash dhis eesh what eesh known called as Deshtiny- as my Gujju friend KG used to say. Well thats another story.
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Confused Johny
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Jun 7, 2010 6:50 am
398 Views
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Little Johny asked his Mom ' How did I come on this Earth' .
Mom looking at Johny . Thought that it wasn't still the time to tell stories of Birds and Bees . So she diplomatically took half an hour to explain to L'tle boy how one night a flying stork dropped a 'Thailee' with tiny Johny in her lap.
Johny then went to Grandmom; ' Granma granma, how did Mom come ?' Startled grandma took an hour to tell him a long story which ended in the stork and the ' Thailee'
Little Johny was walking like a zombie ,kicking pebbles on the pavement. Friend Jennie was worried and asked him what was it that upset Johny so much.
"Oh God. What a bloody family I am born in ? Last two generations do not know what f*cking is all about!!" shot back dejected Johny
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Chacha Shymalal- Katha I
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Jun 4, 2010 7:13 pm
473 Views
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Mr Ramlal left for office and forgot to tell his wife that the mechanic to repair washing machine would be coming in the morning. He called home and phone was picked by child.
Beta I want to talk to your ma .
'No she is with Chacha Shyamlal in the bedroom. '
" Beta you don't have any Chacha Shyamlal'.
'Yes I have . He comes after you leave.'
' Now do one thing Beta. Go and shout outside the door that you can see Dad's car. He is coming home.'
'Okay Dad'
A short pause, he hears the announcement . The child comes back to the phone and Dad asks what happened.
' Well Mom jumped out of the bed , tripped over the carpet , her head hit the floor and think she is dead.'
'Oh my God and what happened to Shyamlal?'
'Chacha ran out of bed and jumped out of the second floor window. He is dead on the ground. '
Ramlal cut off the phone completely aghast and muttered.
Oh Shit. That was a wrong number. This bloody MTNL .
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Oh Dirty Boozer
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Jun 3, 2010 2:53 am
605 Views
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[The top 12 oneliners overheard often in Booze Joints
# 12 : Tu To Yaar Mera Bhai Hai
(Oh you are my dear brother)
# 11 : Gaadi to Main Chalaoonga
(Car, that I will drive)
# 10 : Main Teri Dilse Izzat Karta Hun
(I respect you from the bottom of my heart)
# 9 : Sali Aaj Chaad Nahi Rahi Hai Yaar
(The damn alcohol is not having any effect today)
# 8 : Ye Mat Samazna Ke Main Peekay Baat Karraha hun
(Dont think that I am blabbering and drunk)
# 7 : Yaar Kum to Nahi Padegee na?
(Will we run out of spirits?)
# 6 : Ek Chotasa Aur Ho Jayye?
(One more small one?)
# 5 : Bol Tereko Kya Chahiye? Jaan Hazir Hai
(Tell what you want.Even my life is aat your disposal)
# 4 : Apne Baap ko Mat sikha
(Don't teach your father)
# 3 : Last Last ho Jaay
(Last last peg ?)
# 2 : Woh Mil Jaati to Saalli Yeh Aaj Hath na Hoti
(If only I had her , this bloddy thing wouldn't have been in my hands)
. : Last and the Best
# 1 : Sallah Kal se Yeh Salli Dharoo Band
(From tomorrow onwards no more drinks)
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Numerology Guide- Try it
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Jun 1, 2010 5:23 pm
540 Views
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Received from a Great Numerologist Friend:
Our birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like in the example, until there is only one digit.
A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight.
Example : March 10, 1949 is my birth date
3 + 10 + 1949 = 1962 = 1 + 9 + 6 + 2 = 18 = 1 + 8 = 9
9 is the Birth Number and as per the Numerology all with Birth number 9 are Performers.
Try it out with your Birth date and birth number. All the best.
# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR
1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.
Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch, Samuel L. Jackson
#2 - THE PEACEMAKER
2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.
Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Orlando Bloom, David Beckham
# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.
Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster, LL Cool J
# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE
4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.
Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey
# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST
5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.
Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller, Mark Hamil, Colin Farrell, Scott Speedman
# 6 - THE ROMANTIC
6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.
Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn, Salma Hayek
#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL
7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large.
Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Joan Baez, Princess Diana, Johnny Depp, Shah Rukh Khan
# 8 - THE BIG SHOT
8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.
Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus, Jack Davenport, Michelle Rodriguez
#9 - THE PERFORMER
9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation.
Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley, Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean!)
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After all wasn't a Bad Sunday
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May 31, 2010 5:11 am
608 Views
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Friends the first part of yesterday turned out to be very disappointing. By now you know about my passion for the musical instruments. In addition to Harmonica, I have passion to play digital synthesizers. The first models in early/ mid eighties were simple Casio players with a few tones and few rhythms. I always wanted to buy a good Yamaha key board but those were not available in the country with so many restrictions and heavy import duties during the Control Raj.
In 1989 I had to visit Muscat. My cousin was working there and first thing I did was purchased a lovely Yamaha synthesizer, the latest model then in Oman. The card board packing box itself was very attractive. I had made up my mind to pay the applicable Import duty on arrival in Bombay ( it wasn't Mumbai then). During this visit I had also purchased a big size American Tourister suitcase and when packing for departure, my cousin just tried to place the Yamaha inside the suitcase and it just fitted in the bag. So some heat surgery was done on the thermocole end blocks and the Organ with two thermocole blocks at the end was tightly fitted inside my bag.Clothing provided the necessary protection. My heart was weeping for I was not able to carry the lovely packing box but to end the chapter once and for all, my cousin just crumpled the card board box and cut it into two pieces. No more temptation.
In those days there were no X ray checks on all incoming luggage and the skill of smuggling goods without payment of duty to a great extent depended on the passenger. If he could maintain a straight smiley face and walk confidently shaking his head across the customs officer, he could get out through the Green Channel. Although the heart was beating hard, I probably played my role well and on arrival at home, I had a nice latest Yamaha synthesiser. It is a lovely piece with multi tones and variations, many beats with quite some variations for each beat, sustain and vibrato and many such features.
The instrument pampered me all through the nineties and early 2K. My daughter picked up playing synthesiser. Unfortunately Son didnot- like mother like son. Around 2005, I decided to buy a new model and in a bachelors party announced it. Quickly my Doctor friend whom I owe a lot of obligations, made a request if he could take the older Yamaha. Keeping the 'spirit of friendship' alive and with due respect to the sprits in the tummy, like Godfather, it was a request I could not just refuse and the friend took my smuggled Yamaha away. To date, I have not been able to find time to go and get a new piece.
Around three to four months back, I was missing my old organ and called Doctor to check if it was still being used. To my surprise Doc sahab informed that he is not getting time to learn and practice and my Yamaha was lying in his daughters godown somewhere outside Bombay. Since then I have been trying to retrieve my Yamaha back from him.
Finally, on Saturday he informed that the instrument was at his place and although he would not be available I can have it collected from his residence on Sunday.
So yesterday morning Maa Badaulat Khud reached Doc's residence . The servant pointed to the instrument lying on a chair with its power source. My heart almost stopped beating. The condition was pathetic. Dust and cobwebs filled up all the crevices and masked the two speakers, the ivory keys had blackened.
Immediately before getting inside the car I had the loose dust shaken off and wiped and I returned back home virtually carrying this sick baby on my lap. On the way picked up some Isopropanol- spirit, a hard tooth brush, some cotton and as soon as I reached home, I started the cleaning operation. The instrument won't just work. It was staring at me and asking me how the hell could I gift it. The sliding key contacts had rusted / chocked with dust. Some lubricating oil and rigorous cleaning. I had my lunch around 3 PM only after my Yamaha started singing like it did earlier. Touch wood , all functions are working.
Guys, I haven't been able to sleep all through the night, sometimes playing a song on Waltz beat and then March beat, and then my favourite Bossanova.
The Doctor friend should have atleast got it cleaned and kept ready for the pick up. Tell me why he didn't do it. Don't ever do thing like this in your life when returning something you borrowed.
P.S. Friends interested in a musical evening outing ?  You are most welcome. I will request Bommy to ferry you bundled up in his cart
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Week end Joke- Innocent kids
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May 29, 2010 12:35 am
648 Views
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A kid walks into bedroom finding parents making love with Mamma on the top. The embarrassed mom later tries to explain that dad has a big tummy and she was just trying to flatten it.
The child syas ' Its no use Mamma. Whenever you go out the lady next door comes and again blows air in his tummy.
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Cure- One thing at a time
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May 26, 2010 9:34 pm
576 Views
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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much.
They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact I've
farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office.
You didn't know I was farting because they didn't smell and are
silent". The doctor says "Yes, I see. Take these pills and come
back to see me next week.
"The next week the lady goes back, "Doctor," she says, "I don't
know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts... although
still silent they stink terribly."
"Good", the doctor said, now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing. Then you will yourself cahnge your diet and improve your stomach."
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Further Jokes- Benannnaa Special
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May 25, 2010 3:40 am
657 Views
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Friends encouraged by your response to my Jokes here I am presenting a new joke. The part in India is to be read with the correct pronunciation of the South Indian. I am reproducing as heard:
There in a skchool in Chennai, Wone Teacher is aasking " Who can spelll Benana."
The scholarly student in the first row raised his hand.
" Wokay Kutty please spelll."
" Sir it is Ba na na na na" ,
"Aiiyyyaiyoooh , Kutty why are you pulllling the Benana so much ?"
Did it help? Read on.
After few years Mr Kutty was in a foreign country in an exclusive bar and asked the waiter to take a bottle of Merlot over to an attractive and apparently a professional woman . The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there , " indicating the sender.
The snobbish lady regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at Kutty, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."
After reading the note, our man man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman. It read:
"For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello,a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million US (!) dollars in my bank account.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut two inches off. Just send the bottle back. "
Understand that some ladies in South East Asi have fetish for long Benanananas
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To link to this blog (Aakash49) use [blog Aakash49] in your messages.
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